Thursday, July 24, 2003
aims. hopes. expectations. dreams.
expectations for myself. expectations from parents. expectations from friends too. it really sucked living in this world. my world revolves arnd studying, studying and still, studying. what shall i do when i get home? yes, your damn right. STUDY. oh hell, i have no life. its only like six weeks to prelims? hell, somebody reminded me just now. six bloody weeks and i still could not feel the urgency to study YET. i still have this mentality in me. aiyah, six weeks. time crawls yar? i shall study tmr. and tmr, i shall say tmr again. and i dragged on and on. till now, i have not started on my revision yet. k, except two chapters of bio which was for the class test yest. i studied a lil for it. i scored 25/35 for the previous one, quite well la, considering the fact that i did not study for it. heh.
i got back my report bk today. overall % was 64.5. sucky right. k, i topped the class. which is SO unexpected. no, im not boasting. im just VERY surprised. i failed my literature. sigh. i dont know whats happening to me. i did NOT study for the mids at all, except for the last min flipping thru the files. i regretted, i could have scored better. well, l1r4 15 l1r5 20. -.-
i hate this kind of life. whenever we got back papers, everyone would be like, 'how much you got?' its like, im always EXPECTED to do well. i hate it. i hate living in the expectations of other. its really very tiring trying to do well everytime. i wished i had nvr done well from the very start. maybe then, noone might even ask me how much i got for whatever tests cos im EXPECTED to fail. hehe.
k my parents told me abt their expectations for me. which is. er at least 15pts for l1r4. and i MUST pass everything. which is so unattainable? sigh. ms heng and ms chong told us abt their targets for us, for accounts and emaths. it sounded ridiculous la, both a1s, distinction. yes yes crazy women. right. =)
tmrs the twenty fifth. im turning sixteen. sigh. i wish i could just take my teddy bear and go away to some faraway place. right now. whr there would be no books. k correction, textbks. i need my novels though. hehe. anyone wana join me?
*bruised r ose
A rainbow appeared at18:33***
